The Silver Bullet Theory
by bithnic
Summary: Depressed, alone and lost in life this is the story of one girl who proves she can survive...no matter what.


**Silver Bullet Theory**

_This piece is dedicated to my dearest friends Darren Williams, Steven Moe and the man of my dreams. To my closest friends, I hope this story, both fiction and no fiction, never happens to any of us again._

_This piece is derived from Hawthorne Heights 'Silver Bullet', and the motion picture 'The Butterfly effect'_

**Part 1**

In the end, recollection of the past is your only friend

'When the young get old

And the tide dies down

So does all hope,

And what's left of humanity'

She opened her eyes to the startling blue sky above her. Clouds ever so soft graced their glorious nature as a slight breeze sent chills and shivers all over her body, lightly grooming her skin. Was this heaven?

Startled the young girl looked around for the man she had once called Heath. Where was he now? Was he safe? But more importantly, what had happened to them?

Soft green eyes delicately looked around frantically, searching for any sign of a memory or recognition. The earth around her looked foreign and almost unkind. The grass although long and thick was slowly dying as it lightly brushed against her skin. In the corner of her eyes though, she kept a close eye on the sky. The sight of it captivated her and yet the sight of it was somewhat familiar.

"Heath…"

Her heart was pounding in her chest as memories started to pour back into her fragile mind. Heath. The fight they had had. The girl next door. The silver bullet.

In desperation she muttered these last words to herself over and over again as if they would tell her something more and release a deeper meaning into the open. But nothing came and nothing ever would. The silver bullet. What had happened did so for a reason and now she was trapped.

A surge of pain swept through her body and more memories started flooding into her mind that had moments before been blanker than the mind of a checkout chick. And then as if time suddenly started up again the pain in her body resurrected itself, resurfacing to show her the true meaning of real pain.

Cuts, bruises and a hole in the middle of her chest over the exact spot where she knew her heart would be. The blood was dry but the wound of still fresh. A part of her wanted to know how far it went, as if there was now a permanent hole through her body. But she couldn't look and she wouldn't know.

Light headed the girl tried to think back to the events that happened. But where to start? The happy moments or the sad moments? No, she knew where to start. The silver bullet theory.

"Heath…"

This was her chance to fix her mistakes.

"Holly!"

The bright green eyed girl turned around, a weak smile spread across her face as she turned to face the man she called Heath. But she couldn't look at him any longer. Her legs were tired from running and she was out of breath. She knew she couldn't out run him; he was just too fast and had longer legs than her.

As she expected he caught up to her. "Holly" he said softly, he too was panting, his breath heavy and think. "Holly it wasn't what it looked like" he said to her soothingly as he tried to put his arm around her, to hold her as he had not so long ago. But she wouldn't allow it. With each step he look closer to her, she took two steps back.

"Holly" he said weakly. "Becca…she's my neighbour and my oldest friend. We we're just sitting down and watching a movie, nothing more. And when you walked in, you just caught us at a bad time when she needed a shoulder to cry on. Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen. Holly, its you I love and always will."

Her breath caught in her throat at these words. He always knew how to get to her, how to make her melt and forgive him when something went wrong. But she could almost swear that the events that had occurred between Heath and his so-called-neighbour had been different to the way Heath had tried to explain.

But the only thing she could think about other than what she had seen with Heath and Becca was the night she had spent on the beach with Heath. The things he had said to her, the promises he had made and the things they had done that still to the moment made her cheeks glow a rosy red just at the thought of them.

Finally she succumb to him, her body immediately resting in his arms. Why was she so weak minded? She knew his alibi was false and yet she thrust herself back into his life of technicolour and lies. Her heart would only end up being broken again.

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. After time he slowly began to run his left hand through her hair as he made soothing noises, his way of telling her that everything was ok or everything was going to be ok.

"You know I love you Holly" he said. "So never doubt that, ok?"

She didn't answer him, instead she stood silently in his arms pretending to embrace the moment and relax. But she couldn't. However Heath had fallen for this; he never had been the brightest. She melted into him.

Holly threw on a sweater and jacket before exiting her room, silently closing the newly white painted door behind her to cover up the mess of clothes and posters in her apartment room.

Into the room she entered was the faint smell of fresh pizza and dirty old socks that no doubt one of her room mates, more precisely Mitch, had left lying around in the lounge room without bothering to put it with the rest of the laundry. Loud music throbbed through her ears forcing her to cover them with her hands. But the beat was constant and unblockable. She recognised the vocals and the sound immediately, the lyrics flooding into her mind:

'_I'll breath you in, I won't hold you back, I won't make a sound._

_I know what scares you the most, being alone or being like them._

_Being alive while feeling so dead, at least you'll have my heart._

_You know you shine so bright._

_I've got a single silver bullet…'_

She needed quiet, she needed air. Her second room mate, Blanche popped her head up from the couch to see who had entered the room. There must have been a stir in the air for there was no other way she could have known that Holly had entered the room.

The fair skinned French girl weakly smiled and rested her head back down, obviously exhausted from the music she had been listening to. Holly wanted to roll her eyes at the pathetic ness of her but decided not to. Although Blanche was vain and some what of a porcelain doll, there was something about her that made Holly feel intimidated, as if there was more to the French girl than the eye could plainly see.

"I'M GOING OUT!" she tried to shout over the music but knew it was no use. Even if Blanche could hear she still wouldn't have paid any attention until she noticed that her meals and ever need had not been catered for.

Sighing deeply Holly walked out the front door and into the loud abrasive night life about her. The music was no better as cars drove past, windows down as the thump thump thump of their music travelled out into the night until it became nothing than a small almost unrecognisable sound in the distance.

The air was thick and heavy as Holly stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets and walked the greasy streets, past the hobos and the sex addicts who hid in the darkened corners looking keenly for their nights prey. On more than one evening Holly had almost become one of their victims. They still wanted her and he presumed that she could soon become a target again. She kept her eyes low and here pace fast, she never kept her head phones in when it came to this part of town. She could feel their eyes on her, cascading over her curves and trying to anticipate her every movement. She was ashamed to say she lived here.

Although drugs were dealt in this area, there was occasionally between two to three dead bodies found in the children's park across the road and plenty of homeless and sex addicts, this was no red light district. Even the prostitutes were smart enough not to strut their stuff in this neighbourhood. There was no business only crime and death.

She turned around the corner sharply, brushing her arm hurtfully into the wall. Although her jacket prevented all of the scratching a pain still struck through her arm reminding her that she wasn't invincible.

A horn blared loudly from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see the car from before that had been playing the loud music. But the volume was low now as the men drove slowly at the curve shouting obscene language at her. They wanted her. She quickened her pace and the car sped up.

Frantic Holly had no other choice. She broke into a run.

There she was lying in the alleyway sobbing uncontrollably. Her clothes ripped and torn, bruises covered her wrists from the force they had used to hold her down. From the pain she felt in her thighs, she assumed they were bruised to.

Her pants and underwear had been thrown to the side as they had rapped her brutally and repetitively. She had thought that they would not have let her live.

Now she whimpered in the darkness, the soft sound of familiar music keeping her company long enough for her to fall asleep.

'_I'll breath you in, I won't hold you back, I won't make a sound._

_I know what scares you the most, being alone or being like them._

_Being alive while feeling so dead, at least you'll have my heart._

_You know you shine so bright._

_I've got a single silver bullet…'_

She didn't bother to ring the doorbell, she didn't have to. The door was wide open as she arrived at Heath's house eight am the next morning. Puzzlement filled her mind at the wide open door. Although Heath lived a naïve and sugar coated neighbourhood he would never leave the door to the house he lives in open; his parents would kill him.

Her body still ached harshly allowing very little movement for her. Ever step she stook sent searing pain through her body. She needed to see Heath. She needed to be in his arms, to have him run his hand through her hair and make soothing sounds, letting her know that everything was ok.

She took a step into the house and closed the door behind her out of habit. "Heath?" she called out curiously seeing if he was home. No answer came. The only sound made within the house was the soft sound of music. Strangely it was the same song that she had heard when she had left her flat.

'_I'll breath you in, I won't hold you back, I won't make a sound._

_I know what scares you the most, being alone or being like them._

_Being alive while feeling so dead, at least you'll have my heart._

_You know you shine so bright._

_I've got a single silver bullet…'_

She tried again. "Heath?" she called. Still no response. A cold sweat washed over her. She needed him to be here, she needed him to look after her and tell her that he wouldn't let those men live. She needed to be told that she was loved.

A soft murmur came from deeper within the house. A train of thought crossed her mind. Perhaps Heath was her and her voice had woken him up, that would explain the murmur.

She took of her jacket and dumped it on the arm chair closest to her. It was made of the finest leather and she had been told on her first visit here by Heath's parents that it was never to be touched by human or object. But she was too tired and hurt to pay attention to such insignificant instructions. Plus she knew from the moment that Heath's parents had met her that they had regarded her as trailer trash.

On the long and painfully excruciating walk here she had learnt that shuffling along caused her less pain but was also the easiest way to trip over. She tried it now but found the carpet was too thick for it to walk properly. She would have to walk properly to Heaths room.

Wincing with pain she heard another murmur, but it wasn't the deep sound that it should have been. The vocals were much softer and a higher pitch. Holly shook her head. What was she thinking; it had to be Heath, it was his voice and no one else's and that was the end of the story. But in the pit of her stomach she knew it wasn't as she stealthily moved across the floor to his door way. The door was slightly ajar.

Her heart was hammering in her chest increasing with intensity at every beat. At one point it felt as if it was in her throat trying to force its way out.

It was no longer a murmur she heard now but a moan, a pleasurable moan. Her mind raced as tears streaked down her rosy red cheeks. She thought back to that scene at the beach and the other night when Heath had spent the night with her. All of that seemed to distant now as if it had never happened. That same pleasurable moan was the same that she herself had once made at the beach, in the darkness of the cinema and in the exact room where the sound was being created.

Thrusting the door open Holly stood there silently her words lost as Becca screamed and Heath pulled the covers over both of them thinking that it was his parents. At the sight of Holly he scrambled out of the bed and started pulling on his clothes so he could advance towards him.

The tears were hot and sticky as they came down with the beauty and truthfulness of a waterfall.

"Holly I-" but she wouldn't let him finish.

"You held me and lied to me. You said you loved me and you'd never leave or hurt me. You chose me over every other girl until now." Her mouth caught in her throat as she spoke the next part which she herself found confronting but brave as she held back her shame and embarrassment. "You made love to me and more than once. I left my family so I could still live in the same area as you. I was raped last night when I was on my way to see you. And now I come here to see the two of you wrapped up in each others insignificant egos and irresponsibility. I hurts just to look at you and breathe the same air as you" She took a breath closing her eyes hoping that when they reopened that the scene before her would no longer be there. But it was.

"I love you Holly" Heath said as he began to choke back tears. "It was a mistake I swear. I'm so sorry"

But she wouldn't hear any of it. She could see the smile on Becca's face and felt the urge to throw herself at the girl and kill her for the pain that she had been caused. However she resisted and watched as Heath approached her and tried to hold her but she pushed him away. Human comfort was no longer enough for the pain she had been caused from the time of her rape until now.

She wanted to scream. To yell and hit something, anything. She wanted to express her anger violently but most of all she wanted to know why she wasn't good enough; why Heath didn't love her enough.

She turned around and walked out of the room the pain almost deathly now as it was no longer physical but mental anguish. The one thing that she didn't tell him was that she was pregnant. Her heart was too broken

She had run to a nearby children's park and collapsed in tears. Her fists throbbed from belting them against the ground and her voice was hoarse from the crying and screaming. A small dribble of blood had made its way down from her scalp onto the side of her cheek. She had done this by pulling her hair in anger and frustration. A small clump of her strawberry blonde hair was no clutched in her fists but she did not look at it.

A large warm hand rested upon her back for a minute before a voice emerged. It was Mitch. "Heath called me; he said you'd be here and that I should give you a ride home"

Holly flinched at the sound of his name and burst into loud sobs. Carefully not to hurt herself, Holly pulled herself off the ground and into Mitch's supportive grip. She felt numb with pain now although when the numbness would finally disappear she knew it would be replaced with a fiery pain.

Mitch walked her towards his car and opened the door, helping her in. He closed the door behind her and got in his own side. He closed the door and sat in silence for a minute without starting the engine. His gaze was straight and square as he looked at the children who now played on the swing. A few minutes ago they had been afraid to go near it for 'a sobbing woman' had been near there and she had frightened them.

"What happened Holly?" he asked her. "I don't think I've ever seen you like this before" His voice was filled with confusion and concern making her feel guilty for how she had acted.

"Heath…" she tried but her voice was caught in her throat and she couldn't say a thing. She just shook her head pathetically and covered her face with her hands. She didn't want Mitch or those children to see her crying again.

Mitch sighed as she started up the engine and began their journey home. The radio came on and softly the sound of music began to play.

'_I'll breath you in, I won't hold you back, I won't make a sound._

_I know what scares you the most, being alone or being like them._

_Being alive while feeling so dead, at least you'll have my heart._

_You know you shine so bright._

_I've got a single silver bullet…'_

Holly slowly drifted off to sleep, the rest of the lyrics missing her ears by mere seconds.

_Shot right through my heart_

_To prove I can survive without you.'_

"What do you mean dinner isn't ready!" Blanche yelled at Mitch. Her voice could be heard loudly through the paper thin walls as Holly lay perfectly still in the middle of her oversized adults bed. She was huddled up for warmth, her knees only inches from touching her chin. A silent tear streaked down her chin every odd moment.

Time seemed to be passing slower today compared to a child waiting for Christmas day.

"Keep your voice down Blanche" Mitch spoke softly not wanting to be heard, but Holly could still hear him, their conversation was not oblivious to her. "Look something's happened to Holly and at the moment we have to support her."

"What do you mean something's happened to her?" Blanche said in a snotty voice. "Doesn't something always happen to little miss drama queen? She looks like a cheap whore and when ever her boyfriend spends a night here you can always hear them through the walls. Their not all that thick the walls you know. It's disgusting, they're disgusting…she's disgusting"

"So maybe Holly isn't perfect" Mitch began but Holly had had enough, she didn't want to hear anymore. She stuffed her delicate fingers into her ears the only sound now heard by them was the sound of her sobbing.

She closed her eyes tightly; an attempt to stop the tears but it didn't work. Her heart had been ripped open by the man she loved and the people she had once thought to be her friends thought of her as a slut. Feeling lost and confused, Holly started to think back to the events from the day before, trying to recollect in her mind what she could have possibly done wrong to have ended up with such a horrible fate.

"Heath..."


End file.
